Important Airport Facts

Pretty much don’t touch anything that you don’t have too.

Don’t stand on moving walkways. They are in place to help people get from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’ faster, not to transport the lazy at a slow rate of speed.

Don’t use rolls of toilet paper that are sitting on top of the dispensers. 99% of the time it’s already unrolled across the bathroom floor (absorbing everything it’s path), before someone so kindly rolled it back up and sat it back in the stall for people to use.

Don’t touch handrails on the escalators or walk-alators… C’mon people that’s a given!

Women don’t use the first stall in a public restrooms. There’s always an inch to a 2 inch gap between the wall and stall door… i.e. everyone can see your business.

If you’re lost or confused, stop and stand of to the side until you find your brain. Don’t slowly crawl, criss-crossing back and forth, toting bags that you can’t seem to figure out how to maneuver, while your kids also run back and forth screaming and jumping off the walls, while in front of everyone who knows what’s going on and are trying to get the hell away from you.

That's all for now... More to come.

Sunday Chuck Day

The heavens parted, the seas quieted, the earth stood still. From her womb, the goddess brought forth Chuck Norris, sired by the sun, as a gift to mankind. He reclined upon the fertile soil under the crescent moon and immediately sprouted a beard. She spoke softly to the young child and said “Go forth and roundhouse kick people in the face” So it was spoken and so he does. Every now and then he also sells exercise equipment and wears awesome clothes.

Sunday When-Day

I've kind of felt like this all week...

Picture Courtesy of http://thepioneerwoman.com/

Since when did being different become bad?

When did speaking your mind become offensive?

When did asking for honesty get you lies?

Since when did you change for the worse?

When did judging people become right?

When did it become right to ask the least

from the people you expect the most of?

When did pain begin to hurt so much?

And when did this all start?

If at first you don't succeed, quit. Because you probably suck...

Easter Sunday

I noticed the great full moon these past couple of nights, but did not realize it was the Paschal Full Moon...

Last Friday was an AMAZING day for me, but I didn’t realize it was “Good Friday”...

I didn’t know that Easter was the end of Lent… But I never held up my end of the deal on that. I’ve been cursing more than ever...

And the Easter Bunny didn’t get the Memo that I had to work on Easter… There is no Candy Basket or eggs to find at my place of employment...

The New Testament teaches that the resurrection of Jesus, which Easter celebrates, is a foundation of the Christian faith. The resurrection established Jesus as the powerful Son of God and is cited as proof that God will judge the world in righteousness. God has given Christians "a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” Christians, through faith in the working of God are spiritually resurrected with Jesus so that they may walk in a new way of life.